SUCK UP MY SHIT: May 2010

Basically, this work iv been doing is a spoof survival kit. Its a kit full of total rubbish, for a situation that will never occur, so giving pointlessness a point (in a way). I came up with the brand "Zombie Aid", which implies it helps the Zombie rather than you just to add a bit of confusion to that already confused mind:)
This is the logo i came up with:

This is the survival kit its-self. It is made of wood, its massive, and really heavy -3 things you DONT want a survival kit to be. Inside, you can see some of the contents... Helpful much? NOPE!

This is looking down inside the box to see some of the contents, as you can see most things are wrapped in plastic (for sheer annoyance), and other things, you just think to yourself "why the hell is that there?!!"

This is on one of the sides of my box, a sheet that tells you exactly whats inside:

~Headphones and a disk, which give you "universal directions", so where ever you are you can escape to safety -instructions like first right, second left, on the roundabout second exit. I played around with the audio, slowed parts down, speeded others up, repeated parts, and included conversations i had had throughout the day to confuse the listner so they wernt sure what exactly to listen to.

~2 pans (why not?)

~shouldv been energy tablets but there wernt any to put in, so i came up with replacement objects (i did this for a few of the items in the box, so you are left with compleat crap). This one went from Energy Tablets, to a Mars bar, Snickers, the settled on Gumballs (which i individually wrapped, because i can).

~Records, like in Shaun of the Dead when they are trying to get zombies away by frizbying records at them. I used broken and scratched records in my box -yet again, wrapped in plastic!

~Shouldv been a cricket bat, but again had to be replaced. So the list reads cricket bat, baseball bat, hockey stick, tennis racket, and settles on a badminton racket.

~"Zombie-Ade" power drink. I had a go at making my own-branded products, instead of calling it ZOMBIE-AID POWER DRINK, i called it ZOMBIE-ADE, like lemonade. A play on words.

~Keys, just a jumble of old keys that i found. Might somehow help?.. Somehow

~Rigid soled boots, ran out of them, so replaced by Walking boots, then Doc Martens, then pumps, and finally red flip flops. I scuffed them a bit, and put a bit of dirt on them to look a bit more worn.

~Yellow rave-straws. You never know when your next party will be!

~An Instruction/survival book

~Pens. I replaced this with broken leaded pencils (and yet again covered in plastic)

~Travellers cheques is simply crossed out so you have no money at all:)

~A map. I was going to use a cartoon one, or an old one, then i found one from when i went to the Yorkshire sculpture Park (which im sure will be no help at all), and wrote on the front "ZOMBIE TRACKING MAP" with a big thick pen.

~Stickers, which are meant to be used on the "tracking map", but have also been stuck all over the box.

~A paint roller -never know when youl need to do more decorating!

~Cutlrey, knifes/forks/spoons

~An Air Rifle, but replaced by a Pistol, a BB gun, and finally a plastic toy Gun.

~And a cactus.. Theres no place like home!